The Most Popular Ice Cream Flavors, Ranked. Shutterstock. Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you’ve never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter.

Wait. It’s not love I’m describing. I’m thinking of a monorail.- Jack Handey. Love is a funny thing. Like why do we fall in love with one object of affection and not others? Is it just a biological, chemical reaction?

Or is it fate? Do we stay true to our loves out of obligation? Loneliness? True devotion? Sometimes I wonder if perhaps I’m just settling. Maybe I’m in love because I crave the familiar.

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Am I such a poor creature of habit that I can’t see how many better options are around me? Or is Baskin Robbins Cookie Dough Ice Cream truly the love of my life, as I have strongly believed for last two decades? Maybe it doesn’t make sense that I love Baskin Robbins so much, and that I truly believe it is the best ice cream on the planet. Part of me knows Baskin Robbins isn’t ‘good’ ice cream.

And yet, my heart burns for it with an all consuming passion. We’re not always together. I’ve cheated many times, and there are periods in my life when a Baskin Robbins sits across a chasm too far to traverse. Or it’s winter, and societal convention, our cruel mistress, keeps us apart. But we write, and try to stay in touch. January 1. 0th, 2. Dearest Baskin,My sweet, sugary angel.

As I write this, I’m standing on the dock (our place!). Waves are crashing in the distance, and I’m looking up at the vast collection of stars glittering in the sky. You seem galaxies away.

I wonder, are the same stars shimmering stars over the strip mall you reside? Probably, it’s only about two miles away.

But still. I ache for you. If only I could put your sweet vanilla on my tongue. The heat of my mouth would melt you into a puddle of pure ecstasy. Do you miss my touch as much as I miss yours? Oh Baskin, tell me you yearn for me?

Send me back the poetry of your soul as mine reaches across the divide. Sincerely yours,Allison Noelle Sanchez January 1. Allison Sanchez,Please click the link below to confirm that you would like to be on our mailing list. The Baskin Robbins Team. January 1. 0th, 2. My succulent Baskin!! Your words leave me flushed.

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You musn’t be so forward! What if father had intercepted our correspondence? He would never have let me leave the house again! And rightly so, your tantalizing prose arouses feelings and things in me that well, I , as a young, innocent girl, never knew even existed. Yes, I want to be on your mailing list. I’ve never wanted anything more. Every part of my mind screams that I am putting myself in danger, but every cell in my heart screams, “YES!” Put me on that list.

Tell me every secret, every thought, every dream. But how shall I wait for our next correspondence? Even a day is too long when we’re apart. Write soon, my sweet. I will be waiting. Eternally yours,Allison Noelle Sanchez.

March 2. 1st, 2. 01. Allison Sanchez. Spring into the season!

Buy one regular soft serve cone and get one free! Limit one coupon per customer. Coupon must be presented at time of purchase. Shop must retain coupon. No substitutions allowed. Void if copied or transferred and where prohibited or restricted by law.

Customer must pay applicable tax. Having trouble viewing this email? Click here. March 2.

Baskin,Yes. I am having trouble VIEWING THIS EMAIL. Your sudden chilly demeanor vexes and confuses me. I don’t hear from you for weeks, and now, NOW, you write as if nothing unusual has transpired? I thought you dead!

I adorned myself in black as is the custom, and I mourned for you. And now, you reappear, shameless, and with the demand that I must purchase something for your love? You say it’s a soft serve cone this time.

But what will it be the next? Perfume from Paris? Diamonds? What will you require of me when all my riches are gone Baskin, when you’ve sucked the marrow from my bones, and I have nothing left to give you? You mention the law…like the cruel beast that you are. You know how that hurts me, knowing that we can never be together because of society’s outdated codes. Because it’s ‘illegal to smash the window of a Baskin Robbins after closing time.’ So I sleep alone every night, aching for you.

And yet, after all my sacrifice, you void our love? Erase the decades of memory, of joy, of pain? How dare you? How dare you toy with me like that? I give up. This will never work. Shall it? Please ignore the tears that surely stain this parchment, the ink that runs with my sorrow. I am alone. But perhaps I always have been.

Perhaps I imagined that you felt the same as I. Do not correspond with me again. The pain is too much.

I will let mother set me up with the ice cream shop down the road. It’s well off, though…very old. But at least I know I will be well appointed.

It is stable and kind. And… I must turn my back to this volatile path you have led us down, lest we both end up dead or ruined. Be well, my dearest. I will never love another, but perhaps, that is my….

I dream, our…. burden to bear. If I see you again, it will be in another life,Lady Sanchez. May 7th, 2. 01. 7Allison Sanchez,Mother’s Day is May 1.

Don’t forget to treat mom to something sweet! Take $3. 0. 0 off any ice cream cake on us! The Baskin Robbins Team.

May 7th, 2. 01. 7Oh Baskin,You do care! I could never stay angry with you, my dearest. Mother will love an ice cream cake, you’re so very thoughtful. And I…. I will love you until time itself folds in, collapses, and our universe fades from existence. Even if I must wait out the fabric of space and time, I shall wait for you my love. The way the spring must wait for the sun to melt the icy snow, so shall I keep the course. And maybe I’ll see you in my dreams or on my birthday.

I have that coupon you sent for a free 2. So…it won’t be long. Though any separation seems endless. With undying devotion,Yours once again,Allison Noelle Sanchez.

Point being, Love isn’t rational, but it is beautiful. Ice cream is a wondrous thing. But cruel. It nourishes us and yet, wrecks our very souls and waistlines. But we must admit that not all ice cream is created equal.

I will hold that Baskin tastes the best forever. But beyond the brands of ice cream in the world. I have some very important, very strong feelings about flavor. Hopefully we all do.

Wouldn’t it be great if the next world war was fought, not about religion or borders, but over ice cream flavors? And yes, we’ll ALL die. But wouldn’t it be more whimsical if we all died in an atomic apocalypse because we just couldn’t agree on mint chocolate chip vs. If brother turned against brother because one of them wanted chocolate and the other cookies and cream?

That’s the only world that I want my children to grow up in. Here are the most popular ice cream flavors POWER RANKED. Our rating system today will be “I scream, you scream, this woman screams for ice cream like her very life depends on it. Watch He`S Just Not That Into You Streaming. AND IT DOES!”Shutterstock. Strawberry. There’s nothing bad about strawberry ice cream. It’s perfectly delicious, I’m sure.

It’s just like…. have you ever been with someone who has ordered strawberry ice cream? Ever? I’m not even sure what would happen if you did. Is it a code for some sort of secret society that exists below every ice cream parlor? You ask for a strawberry cone and they usher you into a back closet that turns into an elevator and takes you to a secret group of assassins who operate outside the laws of man?

Or maybe it’s a test, to see if you’re human or not. Perhaps ice cream parlors are a group of international demon hunters, and the “strawberry ice cream test” is a classic ruse to find out who amongst us are horrible demons wearing the skin of human hosts. Order one scoop of delicious strawberry ice cream, and they know you couldn’t possibly be a real person. Who does that? Within seconds you’ll be doused with holy water and your head sliced off with whatever specially blessed blade sends demons back to the depths of Hell.